Updated: Apr 11, 2020
I was young, maybe too young to really know what and who I am but I had my first boyfriend and he was openly gay.
I didn´t know how I should tell my mom that I am gay just because I wasn´t sure about her reaction.
You know when you are young, like really young. Okay, wait. I mean I was 12. So you see not the easiest age to really know who you love or what you like but for me, it was the right time.
I remember that when we were talking about sexuality, a lot came to my mind.
Am I gay?
Am I trans?
Am I straight?
I guess the normal questions you ask yourself when you first hear about different sexuality.
I wrote a letter to my mom, where I was telling her that I am gay and actually I don't remember a lot of the letter but I know that I was telling her that I am the same person as before and that I love her. I was too scared to give the letter personally, so I put it under her pillow.
The next day she didn´t even say a word to me until she drove me to school. As we arrived, the only thing she said was "I love you, no matter what!".
After a few weeks, I asked her if she could tell it the rest of the family because I didn´t want to come out a hundred times. We never talk about it again. I knew that she loves me and I didn`t want to tell her more about the whole "I love boys" story. So after a few months, we were talking more about boys and that stuff until she told me that my dad is not happy about the fact that I am gay. At first, it was not a problem for me because I never had a great relationship with him. Knowing that someone loves you less because you are, who you are is not the best way to grow up.
If you came this far please share it with your friends, post it in your Instagram Story, tag me and let me know about your thoughts. And just enjoy your time on earth.
Martin Kettenmeyer also is known as Martin_kto
xoxo - not gossip girl.